Nurturing Positive Body Image in Adolescents: A Therapist's Guide for Parents
Adolescents face many challenges in their lives. Many of these challenges are apparent and include:
Navigating relationships.
The stress of academic and extracurricular activities.
Figuring out how to manage their time.
Trying to find their place in the world.
In addition to these common challenges, many teenagers silently struggle with poor body image. Unfortunately, this issue affects a significant number of young people and has a profoundly negative impact on their mental and emotional well-being. In this blog post, I aim to guide parents on addressing body image and supporting their teens during this challenging phase of life. Adolescence is a time of massive physical and emotional growth and self-discovery. This developmental time is exciting and distressing for both children and their parents. Understanding how to discuss and promote positive body image is crucial. Let's explore some strategies and insights that can make a difference.
Open and Nonjudgmental Communication
Effective communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship and is especially important for parent-teen relationships. Make a concerted effort to be open to challenging and uncomfortable topics. Do your best to remain nonjudgmental. When teenagers feel judged, they shut down, get defensive, and retreat, making connection and conversation difficult. Create a safe space where they can express their feelings and thoughts without fear of criticism. Listen actively and validate their emotions by showing empathy, even if you do not understand.
Praise Their Attributes, NOT Their Physical Appearance
Tell them what you appreciate about them, such as their humor, thoughtfulness, consideration, diligence, and kindness. Comment on how much you enjoy their company and tell them often how much you love them. They can never hear this enough! Avoid commenting on their appearance, like "you are so pretty" or "handsome."
Encourage Self-Expression
Encourage your teen to express themselves creatively. Allow them to express their individuality through what they wear, their art, music, writing, or other outlets. These forms of self-expression help them process their feelings and build self-confidence. Don't comment on whether something is "flattering or not flattering on them." Emphasize whether or not they feel good in the outfit! Being comfortable builds self-confidence. That's what matters most.
Positive Affirmations
Encourage your teen to create and use positive affirmations related to their lives and body image. These are short, positive statements that can help rewire their thought patterns. For example, "I am strong, I feel healthy, My appearance does not define my value. I am resilient, and I matter."
Focus On Respecting Their Body
Encourage respect for their body and everything it does daily to keep them alive. Some examples are the miracles of the brain and cognition, the lungs and the heart that process oxygen and pump blood and the kidneys and liver that process waste products. Drawing attention to the phenomena of what their body does every day can remind them of the miracle and precious gift of being alive. When they lament what they can not do, remind them of what they can do. Comparison is the thief of joy. Many adolescents compare themselves to their more physically developed peers. Remind them that there is no race or special place in heaven for those who physically develop early. Please encourage them to nourish themselves with healthy food and water. Remind them that there are no "bad foods." It is essential to help them correlate their feelings with what they consume. Some food will make them feel bad. Some food will make them feel sick.
Educate Yourself
Understanding the complexity of body image issues is crucial for parents. Take the time to educate yourself about factors contributing to poor body image, such as societal pressures, media influence, and peer comparisons. The more you know, the better equipped you will be to provide support and guidance. Attend to the changes they are experiencing. If you notice significant changes in weight or appearance, make an appointment with a healthcare provider to rule out any underlying medical conditions and enlist their support in caring for your child. Concern from a medical provider is often less threatening than a parent saying the same things.
Encourage Self-Acceptance
Focus on their strengths, talents, and inner qualities. Promote self-acceptance and self-compassion, emphasizing that everyone has unique attributes that make them special. Remind them that their appearance does not solely determine their worth.
Be a Positive Role Model
Your behavior and attitudes significantly influence your teen's perception of their body. Strive to be a positive role model by practicing self-acceptance and a healthy relationship with your body. Avoid negative comments about your appearance or the appearance of anyone else. Be mindful of how you talk about body-related topics, especially weight. Be particularly cautious about what you say about yourself when looking at photos or how you feel about getting your picture taken. Talk about what you appreciate about your body. Some examples may be: I love my body. My body is amazing. I grew you in my belly. My scars are beauty marks. My arms can hug you. I love my eyes; they see beauty everywhere. Honor your body with both words and actions.
Limit Media Exposure
The media's portrayal of beauty standards has a detrimental impact on adolescents' body image. Help your teen learn how to analyze media messages critically. Show them how Photoshop edits change the pictures. Help them understand that many images are highly edited or unrealistic. Please encourage them to consume media mindfully and in moderation.
One of my favorite quotes on body image is from Cindy Crawford, a supermodel. She said she does not even look like "Cindy Crawford" when she wakes up.
Identify Real Experts
Help them identify the difference between an expert and someone wanting attention. Many things trend online, including those that seem healthy but can harm their overall well-being. Adolescents are learning and often have not developed the critical thinking skills to discern the difference between a sales pitch and expert knowledge. Most do not understand how many calories their body needs to function. Teach them what their body needs to thrive. Show them how to eat to win. If you do not know how to do this, please find a qualified nutritionist and learn together.
Promote a Healthy Lifestyle
Emphasize the importance of a healthy lifestyle that includes balanced nutrition and regular physical activity. However, make it clear that the goal is to nurture health and overall well-being, not to attain a particular body shape or size.
Normalize Fluctuations
Teach your teen that their thoughts about their body will fluctuate over time, and these thoughts are entirely normal. Everyone has good and bad days regarding body image, and embracing the ebb and flow of self-perception is essential. The quality of their sleep, hormonal changes, stages of development, nutrition, and physical activity will all impact how they feel about themselves.
Reinforce Unconditional Love
Always emphasize your unconditional love and acceptance for your teen, regardless of their appearance or self-image. Let them know that your love for them is not contingent on their physical appearance and how they look.
Emphasize Individuality
Highlight the uniqueness of your teen and the importance of celebrating diversity. Discuss how individual differences in appearance make each person unique. Please encourage them to embrace their quirks, scars, or features that make them distinctly themselves. These are reminders of all they have survived.
Encourage Self-Reflection
Help your teen self-reflect and explore the root causes of their poor body image. Encourage journaling to clarify their thoughts and feelings about their body. By identifying triggers and underlying emotions, they can better understand where their self-image struggles originate.
Seek Professional Help
If your teen's poor body image is significantly impacting their mental health, seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide specialized support and strategies to address the underlying issues and improve self-esteem.
Encourage Peer Support
Encourage your teen to build a network of friends who value them for who they are rather than how they look. Solid and supportive friendships can buffer against the adverse effects of societal pressures and poor body image.
Supporting a teenager with poor body image can be challenging, but it is a crucial aspect of their emotional development. By maintaining open communication, educating yourself, promoting self-acceptance, and being a positive role model, you can help your teen navigate this challenging aspect of their adolescence. Remember that professional help is available when needed, and the journey toward a positive body image is a marathon, not a sprint. With your guidance and support, your teen can develop the self-confidence and self-love they need to survive and thrive in today's world.
